Murderer breaks in and finds young couple making love, rips off his clothes and breaks the bad news

It can be hard to keep your mood up during winter, and I find this gets more true the more north you go. It’s easy to feel down in the dumps when it’s cold outside and the sky is cloudy. That’s when you need a little pick-me-up the most – and laughter really is the best medicine!

I found this dirty joke online earlier today, and I just had to share it with you. Hopefully it will make you and your friends laugh as hard as it did me! A word of warning: this one is not for sensitive readers!

An escaped convict, imprisoned for 1st degree murder, had spent 15 years of his life sentence in prison. He had just broken out, and was now on the run. After half a day of running through the woods, the man finally discovered a small house in a clearing.

He noticed that the back door was unlocked, so he rushed in to look for food and weapons. But instead, he found a young couple in bed, making passionate love.

Image source: Shutterstock

The escaped convict forced the man out of the bed, and tied him to a chair.

He tied the woman to the bed. The convict then climbed onto the bed right over the woman, and it appeared he was kissing her neck. Suddenly, he got up and left the room.

“Don’t resist”

The husband hurriedly made his way across the room to his bride, his chair in tow, and whispered, “Honey, this guy probably hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw him kissing on your neck and then he left in a hurry. Just cooperate and do anything he wants. If he wants to have sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Whatever you do, don’t fight him or make him mad. Our lives depend on it! Be strong honey, I love you.”

The young half-dressed wife said, “I’m so relieved you feel that way. You’re right, he hasn’t seen a woman in years, but he wasn’t kissing my neck… He was whispering in my ear. He said he thinks you’re really cute, and asked if we kept the Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong honey, I love you too…”

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