Dirty joke: Wife finds husband in bed with a young mistress

Infidelity is something horrible that hurts people and destroys relationships. No one deserves to experience heartbreak in this manner!

However, this topic can be funny when used in jokes and stories. I know many funny tales about “forbidden” subjects that have become classics of comedy through the years. Which is not so strange – sometimes we need a bit of spice on our humor to get a good laugh.

When it comes to dirty jokes, they are also fictional stories – so don’t worry, no one gets hurt.

That’s why I think today’s joke is so hilariously clever! The punchline is priceless, so hang in there until the end. I actually couldn’t stop laughing!

I hope you like this funny story as much as I did!

One day, the working wife comes home earlier than expected. In the bedroom, she finds her husband making intense love to a gorgeous young woman. The wife is, of course, distraught – and screams with tears in her throat:

“You disgusting pig! How dare you do this to me – I’ve always been faithful to you! I’m the mother of your children!! I’ll have your ass in court! I’m getting a divorce!!”

Explained to his wife

The husband, obviously shaken, answers:

“Hold on sweetheart! I can explain! At least give me a chance to clear things up!”

this wife

The wife, still very upset, says:

“Alright. Let’s hear it, but these will be the last words you ever say to me. Afterward, you’ll be talking to my lawyer!”

The man says:

“Okay, fine, I get it. So I was driving home when I saw this young lady asking for a lift. She looked so depressed, sad, and dirty that I felt sorry for her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very skinny, her clothes were ragged, and the smell, oh god, the smell!

“She told me she hadn’t eaten anything in the past three days. So out of the kindness of my heart, I brought her home and warmed up the steak I made for you yesterday, the one you didn’t eat because you are watching your figure. As you said right before heading out for ice cream smoothies with your friends.”

She didn’t use it anymore

The husband continues:

“The poor thing devoured the food like it was the most delicious thing in the world. So then, since the smell was still a problem, I made her take a shower.

“While she was at it, I saw that her clothes were basically rags, so I threw them away and gave her those designer pants that I got you for your birthday. The ones you never use because you don’t have a matching purse.”


“I also gave her the underwear that I gave you on our wedding day and that you no longer use because you think my taste is lousy. Then I found that blouse my sister gave you last Christmas, which you never wear just to mess with her.”

“Remember the expensive boots you bought last year with my credit card, but don’t use them because your colleague also has a pair? This girl doesn’t have that problem, so I thought she could have them.”

The man took a breath and continued:

“She was so grateful that I helped her out. But when she was about to leave, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and asked: ‘Is there anything else that your wife no longer uses?”

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